How To Deal With Emotionally Unavailable Men

By Aaron Adams

Knowing how to deal with emotionally unavailable men is very important for a dating woman. Dating problems often result from clueless deals with such men, and most women make the mistake of thinking they have what it takes to change that man into her dream lover. Unfortunately, that rarely happens.

For starters, emotionally unavailable men are not the same as those who are simply unavailable. The unavailable man is simply not interested in getting into a relationship, so he rarely shows up on the playing field. On the other hand, the emotionally unavailable man plays in the pitch, but is not really into any team. The emotionally unavailable man is easy to spot since they easily fall in and out of love, and at times they keep vague relationships with two or more women at the same time.

Emotionally unavailable men are like kids when it comes to making decisions about their lives – they really don’t know what they want. That includes women, so they usually end up taking the ladies for granted in a relationship. It’s not advisable to pursue a relationship with such men, since whatever they do with the women they’ve played with before, they can also do the same to you. It is best to stay clear of such men.


One of the common mistakes women make is to try to change an emotionally unavailable man. He is usually insensitive and shortsighted, and the more you baby him, the more he thinks that everything is all right. There will come a day when everything just doesn’t seem to work out at all. If you are strongly attached to an emotionally unavailable man, it almost always equates to disappointment and pain ultimately.

The best thing to do is to try and put distance between the two of you. Try to take your mind off him and put that attention into another aspect in your life. Try the gym, or Yoga, or that art class you’ve been dying to try. Do things that would make you realize that trying to get him is not worth the time. And here’s the irony – this distance just might knock some sense into him. A puppy, when it’s hungry, cold or sick, will go home. The same goes for emotionally unavailable men – when he feels something is missing, he’ll go looking for it. But don’t expect too much though – after all, it’s still his call.

It’s necessary to learn to pick up the signals given off by these men. If he is dating other women, it only means he’s not happy with having only one companion in life. And don’t try and make the big mistake of trying to change him – as I’ve mentioned time and again, it doesn’t work that way. Your presence in his life would only root him to the spot, comfortably between two or more women in his life, with no serious romantic commitment to any.

For men like these, it will be your absence, not your presence, that is likely to affect him the most.

About the Author: Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit

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